Saturday 29 June 2019

289 night in the woods - maebea capers

Dear Readers,

Bea and I got out of the URev0luti0n store without a hitch but with the belt buckle.

I was like aw yeah! Sweet belt buckle I was never, ever gonna wear! Bea said this was bad, and used my name. I said she should steal something now! She was like pardon? I asked her if she had ever done crimes and she said everybody has. I then said to get back in there, calling her champ! She said no.

I laid some things out for her. The security cameras weren't even on, the cashier clearly wasn't paying attention, and there was not one mall cop here as far as I could tell. She thought about it and actually came around on it! I told her this was an experience and it was there for the taking! She finally agreed and said she was blaming me and driving away if she got caught. I said perfect!

We went back into the store. My job was to do interference and distract the clerk. Bea admitted that drawing attention was a talent I had. I said I was great at crimes. She then asked what if she got caught. I said she wouldn't, and that I would just start screaming if I had to. After a pause she asked how was that a good idea and I just said let's go. She said ok but she was blaming me if this went wrong. I said to join the club.

We walked in and I got chatty with the clerk. Bea went over to the belt buckles. I said I had a question and the clerk gave the shirt sales pitch again. I said I saw and I was wondering about something else.

While this conversation was going on, a little view of Bea's hand reaching for something came up. I continued, asking about the store. I asked "Is it like You-Revolution, or like You're-Revolution"

Bea's hand reached further.

The clerk said no one ever asked this but she thought about it all the time. I said I bet! Then she groaned and started talking even more, asking me if I knew what the official business name their cheques was and told me it was URevolution: Radical "Uth" Culture Uprising Inc. I then said "Pretty cool place to work, huh?" and she said not really and asked if I wanted something. I was like uh ok.

Then I said "I think it's a cool place and you should be happy you even have a job.", which was probably the worst lie I told anybody. She was like what? and I said I had no idea. Then she said to let her know if I needed anything.

Bea's hand was pulling away now and she let out some kind of weird groan.

I then said "I'm going to scream for a while." and started screaming. The clerk just said ok and I said "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH?!?!?!" instead of the other choice, which was the same but didn't have question marks.

Bea's hand reached further again.

The clerk then said she was going to call security. I screamed again. Bea reached even further.

The clerk said they didn't have security but she was gonna call the cops. I then said no don't do that I'll stop. She then asked what was wrong with me.

Suddenly the view of Bea's hand disappeared and she said she was done looking so let's go, before walking out past me and out the door. I then said to the clerk okitwasnicetalkingtoyoubyenow! The clerk then said see ya.

Outside the shop, Bea asked why did she just do that. I smiled and told her she did so well! She said she called the cops on shoplifters at her own store! I asked her "What did you get?" and she said it was some kind of necklace thing. I said nice nice and she was like oh gosh and I said to forget it, that we were home free.

She said really? and I said yeah, that we were out in open waters now. She said she felt kinda sick. I said let's walk it off and we just started walking! Couldn't go anywhere except ahead where we stopped again at the giant fish head fountain.

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